Finding Joy in Riding: Are You in the Right Environment for You and Your Horse

Riding should be a source of joy, not stress. So why do so many of the riders I've known feel drained after a visit to the barn? Most riders invest significant time, money, and energy into our horses. When the experience leaves you feeling weary or frustrated, it’s time to pause and reflect. What is causing this disconnect? Is it the trainer, the barn, the horse’s suitability, or your own goals? Understanding these factors can help you find a better fit and bring back the pleasure of riding.

Recognizing When Riding Stops Being Fun

Riding should energize you, not exhaust you emotionally or physically. If you often feel tired, discouraged, or anxious after spending time with your horse, these feelings are signals worth paying attention to. Sometimes, the problem is subtle and easy to overlook.

Ask yourself:

• Do I look forward to riding, or do I dread it?

  
  

• Am I making progress toward goals that matter to me?

  
  

• Does my horse seem happy and willing, or resistant and uncomfortable?

  
  

• Is my barn environment supportive and positive?

  
  

• Does my trainer understand my needs and help me improve?

  
  

If you answer “no” or “I’m not sure” to several of these questions, it’s time to explore why.

Matching Your Horse to the Right Discipline

Not every horse excels in every discipline. A horse bred and trained for jumping may not thrive in dressage, and a western pleasure horse might struggle with eventing. Loving your horse deeply is important, but it doesn’t guarantee success in every riding style.

For instance, one of the horses I personally bred with aspirations for the Grand Prix was talented, beautiful, and had an excellent temperament. However, she didn't enjoy the FEI work, and although she was capable, neither of us found pleasure in training her at that level. At the season's end, we decided to try jumping as a change of pace, and she loved it! To my surprise, I could sense her excitement over the jump courses far more than in dressage training. Consequently, after a few months of jumping, she became a truly wonderful hunter/jumper. So much for my Grand Prix dressage horse!

Consider these points:

• Evaluate your horse’s natural abilities and temperament. Some horses are bold and energetic, others calm and steady. Some have naturally supple gaits while others are built for speed. Matching these traits to your chosen discipline is key.

  
  

• Watch for signs of stress or discomfort. If your horse resists certain movements or seems unhappy (develops mouth issues or naughty behavior), it could mean the discipline isn’t a good fit.

  
  

• Be honest about your goals. If you want to compete at a high level, your horse’s talents and temperament must align with that ambition. If you are more flexible in your riding, try branching out to other disciplines or cross-training to keep you both fresh.

  
  

In some cases, as was with mine, selling a horse that doesn’t fit your riding goals can be the kindest choice for both of you. This allows you to find a horse better suited to your discipline and gives your current horse a chance to shine elsewhere.

Finding the Right Trainer and Barn Environment

The people and place you choose to work with can make or break your riding experience. A barn with all the amenities might still feel wrong if the atmosphere is tense or unsupportive. Likewise, a trainer who doesn’t understand your goals or communication style can leave you feeling stuck.

Look for these qualities:

• A trainer who listens and adapts. Your trainer should help you set realistic goals and provide clear guidance tailored to your communication style and riding abilities. We all learn differently, so find a trainer whose style works with your own and encourages you and your horse in your development.

  
  

• A positive barn culture. Friendly, respectful interactions among riders, staff, and horses create a welcoming environment. We often spend several hours at the barn with our horses; make it a place you enjoy spending that amount of time.

  
  

• Facilities that meet your needs. Safe arenas and pastures, good footing, and knowledgeable staff contribute to a better experience. Some horses have unique needs, so be up-front about those to ensure the facility is able to accommodate them prior to moving in and becoming frustrated with the care.

  
  

Don’t hesitate to change barns or trainers if you feel your current situation isn’t helping you grow. It’s common for riders to move on from places or people that don’t fit, even if they offer great amenities. Just do so in a respectful manner, explaining your decision and giving plenty of notice so everyone can adjust to the change.

A supportive training environment is key to bringing joy to your riding

Setting Clear and Achievable Goals

Sometimes frustration comes from unclear or unrealistic goals. Without a clear path, it’s hard to measure progress or feel successful. Setting goals that are specific, measurable, and attainable helps keep motivation high.

Try these steps:

• Write down your goals. Include short-term and long-term objectives and how you will know when you've achieved those goals.

  
  

• Break goals into smaller tasks. For example, mastering a particular movement before moving on to a full test or a new level.

  
  

• Track your progress. Keep a journal or use an app to note improvements and challenges.

  
  

• Celebrate small wins. Recognize every step forward to stay motivated.

  
  

If your goals feel overwhelming or vague, talk with your trainer or a trusted rider for help refining them.

Listening to Your Own Needs

Owning and riding a horse is a personal journey. What works for one rider may not work for another. It’s important to check in with yourself regularly and be honest about what you need to enjoy riding.

Consider:

• Your energy levels and time availability. Riding should fit your lifestyle, not drain it. Try to get to the barn at a time of day when you don't feel rushed or when you know it will be either quiet or full of barn friends depending on how you're feeling that day.

  
  

• Your bond with your horse. Do you experience happiness and trust, or do you feel frustration and concern? Sometimes, we just need a "therapy day" at the barn where we simply enjoy the company of our partner. Other times, we hold on to the hopes and dreams we had when breeding or buying the horse, instead of accepting the disconnect we currently feel. It's perfectly fine to move forward.

• Your learning style. Do you favor hands-on coaching, group sessions, or independent practice? Some individuals need time to process for a few rides after a lesson before they're prepared for another, while others benefit from the regular reminders provided by more frequent coaching. Some riders like to take clinics with other professionals just to hear the same things they've been hearing from their current trainer in a different format. Design your training program to align with these preferences.

  
  

Making changes based on your needs might mean selling a horse, switching trainers, or even taking a break. These decisions can be difficult but often lead to a healthier, happier riding experience.

Taking the First Steps Toward Change

If you recognize that something isn’t right, start by identifying the biggest source of your frustration. Is it the horse, the trainer, the barn, or your goals? Once you know, take small steps:

• Talk openly with your trainer or barn manager about your concerns.

  
  

• Research other barns or trainers in your area. Clinic or observe a lesson from another trainer to see if their style may better suit your own.

  
  

• Reflect on your riding goals and write them down.

  
  

• Consider a professional assessment of your horse’s abilities or take a lesson in another discipline to see how your horse reacts.

  
  

Change doesn’t have to happen all at once. Gradual adjustments can lead to a better fit without overwhelming you. You and your horse both deserve to enjoy your journey together.